After another grueling day of work, Sophie returns home. Years of hard work have finally paid off, now that she’s realised her dream of living in a lavish mansion with a hunky boyfriend. All it took was gumption, elbow grease, and ascension into the supreme Deity of the multiverse.

    Now spending her days hand-crafting entire galactic clusters planet-by-planet, her work is even more mentally taxing than before, but thankfully the job title comes with some considerable boons. For example the ability to do away your mental exhaustion with a thought. Besides that, the infinite wealth, endless adoration and absolute control over the laws of physics and reality are also a good consolation.

    But most importantly, the sex is divine. Quite literally so, even, but figuratively also. Sophie has, in her various sexcapades, met many a Deity who’s been a slouch under covers. The same can’t be said of her boyfriend Dan though - a crush of hers from the time before her ascension, Sophie was more than happy to share her fortune and power with him in exchange for copious amounts of ravaging sex on a daily basis.

On that note, the first order of business that Sophie typically does after clearing her mind from the toils of the workday is to have an odd few thousand nuts busted into her. Where the hell is Dan, anyways? Sometimes he’s so eager that he’ll surprise her at her workstation in ultra-deep-space, resulting in a few very fertile galaxies.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Sophie ponders, hands on her hips, as she surveys the city-sized foyer of her palace. “If Dan’s not here to greet me, it could take days before I find him on foot! Gotta think, now...”

Maybe Dan is in his room? He’s made it very clear to Sophie that his bedroom is his personal space and off-limits to her, but nothing’s truly off-limits to Sophie.

“Da-aaaan!”, Sophie calls out, peeking her head into his room. Goodness gracious what a pigsty his room is. Dan can circle the globe in a literal jiffy and move mountains with a thought, and yet his bedroom floor is littered with porn mags, cum rags, onaholes, dildos, panties of whichever esoteric bombshell of a Demideity he decides to copulate with, and probably literal metric tons of cum stains. Does he like living like this? In-person the man smells like a spring morning - Sophie figures he must’ve created a passive magic spell of some kind to keep himself perpetually pristinely clean.

    On second thought, maybe Dan considers cleaning to be below himself? After all, he’s the second-in-command in the universe. Sophie has allotted him sovereign rule over 8 million galaxies, and she’s created at least three parallel universes for him to play around freely in. But could such a smidgeon of power truly go to someone’s head, that he’d consider it below himself to clean his own room?

    Whatever. Sophie will just get him a personal maid or something. Would have to be a really top-notch maid to clean all ten square kilometers of Dan’s bedroom though, especially considering how filthy it is. Maybe some kind of a Super Maid?

    Before she can finish that thought, Sophie reverses causality in a way that negates her ever having stepped foot into Dan’s room. This way Dan will be unable to know that Sophie intruded on his privacy so, despite his Godlike powers. Another unintended positive side to this is that now Sophie will get to unsee the heaping garbage dumb of sex implements and fap material that Dan has accured. No wonder Sophie had no previous recollection of seeing inside his bedroom.

    “Hm. I have an acute sense of having just deleted a portion of the timeline. Better not look in here anyways.”

    Sophie considers her options. She can’t know for sure whether Dan is inside his bedroom or not. Or can she?

“If I can’t check his bedroom, I can simply check the entire rest of the multiverse instead!”

    Normally, in situations where a Deity completes a complex task with ease, it is said that they do so ‘with a simple thought’. However, what Sophie is about to do is not a simple thought. It is a very complex thought. Sophie expands her conception outside of her own brain, outside of their palace, outside the planet, the solar system, galaxy and the universe, into every single corner of her multiverse, with the single sole exception of Dan’s bedroom.

    In this state of ubiquitous apprehension, Sophie is perfectly capable of counting the grains of sand that cover the ruins of the Holy Glass Palace of Hhopin Nhop, situated 21 billion lightyears away, and reading the faded inscriptions on the now-collapsed throne heralding an eternal reign. She can read the first thoughts of thousands of species across countless universes as they gain sapience for the first time. Against all the powers of nature and physics, she can visualise the impregnable void of a black hole down to the broken and twisted atoms in perfect clarity.

    She can also see that Dan is sitting on a chaise lounge just two rooms over from her. Annoyed with his evasiveness, Sophie abandons typical means of egress and tears a wormhole from her current position onto the coffee table in front of Dan.

    “Yo. Wassup?”, Dan asks, pointedly shrugging.

    Sophie tears off her trademark pastel green bikini and grips her beach ball boob with one hand and her sopping cameltoe with the other. As milk and lovejuices drip onto the fine hardwood table, Sophie looks Dan straight in the eyes and dips a finger into her mouth, licking on it suggestively. His superhuman supermodel Goddess with a big G of a girlfriend is a little horny today, and not afraid to show it.

    “We’re gonna have sex right here and right now, that’s what’s up.”

Dan frowns his brow, contemplatively looks away for a sparse second, and then quickly retorts:

“Nah. Don’t feel like right now, sorry.”

At this, Sophie is astounded.

“H-... Ex-cuse me? Goddess of the Universe here! You don’t just say no to me.”

“Well I just did. I don’t wanna have sex right now and that’s final. Die mad about it.”

Now he’s done it. Who does Dan think he is, some kinda God? He only exerts absolute rule over a few octillion individuals. Sophie exerts absolute rule over a few octillion universes. It’s time to put him in his place.

    “Oh, wanna play games eh? Alright.”

Sophie extends her arm and summons one of her favourite pet projects: a Can of Sexy. Pouring the contents of a Can of Sexy over something makes it look sexier. This effect isn’t physical - the appearance of the target remains the same. Rather, the universal concept of ‘sexy’ is changed to correspond more closely to the appearance of the target.

    Sophie cracks open the steel can with her bare hands and pours it onto her hair. She slathers her nude body with it, covering every inch with the translucent goo. She summons two more cans, one into both hands. She crushes the cans with her divine grip, letting the Sexy burst out and spurt onto her body like a tube of toothpaste getting stepped on. She summons a whole Barrel of Sexy, the contents of which could turn anything into the most covetous thing in the universe. She bathes in Sexy, drinks Sexy and lubes up her magnificent cooch and asshole with Sexy. The minds of all sapient creatures are now fixated on the ideal body, proportions and appearance - the ones which Sophie possesses.

    Still literally dripping with Sexy, Sophie repeats her inquiry. Now, at the slightest notion of her voice, Dan’s loins spring into full mast.

    Well, hot stuff. How do you like me now?

    “Eh. You’re always hot in my books. That don’t mean I’d be any more interested.”

Dan must have the willpower of a brick wall. Damn that Divine wisdom she granted him! Sophie will just have to chisel through that wall a bit.

    “Your mouth says no… but this lil’ fella seems to have other ideas...”

Sophie’s about to give a few firm tugs of his length, when Dan slaps her away.

    “Whoa, whoa! Keep your hands to yourself, missy. That’s a big no-no.”

Now Dan is just being obstinate. He knows damn well that he wants Sophie’s gorgeous ass bobbing on his member. He’s never turned down sex before, not with her, not with other Deities... not even with, fucking, any lowly mortal on the street that dares to ask. Sophie knows for a fact that he’s already fucked his way through five hundred and fifty two other Goddesses, and a hundred and eighty Gods just this morning. What’s one more round with his girlfriend? This simply has to be a joke.

    “Alright, I’ll bite. What’s the issue now? Are you mad at me for something?”


    “Are you like… bored of having such astoundingly good sex all the time? I can pretend to be bad at sex too if you’ve really gotten that kinky.”

    “Nah that’s not it either.”

    “Is this like a wager you’re on?”


    “Well fucking obviously not, it’s not like anyone could wager anything to you that I couldn’t just summon out of thin air at zero expense. So what’s the issue? Why aren’t you thrashing around the room balls deep in me already?”

    “I just don’t want that.”

    “Well I do want that! I’m gonna have it, and you can’t stop it. Watch this, now.”

Sophie summons a nondescript device with a large red button.

    “Whenever I press this button, one of the reasons why you don’t want to have sex with me will disappear.”

    “Tsk. Alright,” he bluntly retorts.

    “You’re not impressed, hm? Watch this, then!”

Sophie actuates the button. Immediately, the device itself disappears. Sophie is at a momentary loss of words, until the realisation strikes: The reason Dan doesn’t want to have sex is her over-eagerness.

    “Oh, so that’s how it is? Am I coming on too strong?”

    “Nahh… not really. I actually kinda like when you do that.”

    “Then WHAT IS IT?”, Sophie thunders, her voice echoing for thousands of miles, almost all the way to the outskirts of their palace.

    Dan looks slightly disappointed. He sighs with closed eyes, and calmly explains:

    “I didn’t give consent yet.”

    “Consent? Consent!? Don’t you realise that I’m a Goddess; I don’t need consent! I’ll… I’ll rape you! Yea, that’s what I’ll do. I’m gonna rape you, and nobody can stop me! Nobody can do anything about it, either. How’s that make you feel?”

    “Well you can’t do that, can you now?”

    “Umm… yes-fucking-way I can. Check it: Here’s a list of everything that I can do.”

Sophie spawns an elaborate scroll into her hand, and lets it unspool down the hall. There, in gilded letters, reads every conceivable action. There are checkboxes for both ‘can do’ and ‘cannot do’ for each entry, and for each entry, the ‘can do’ box has been checked.

    A pretty straightforward case, really. Dan doesn’t seem all too impressed, though. He has a response at the ready:

    “Imagine this: what does raping someone say about you as a Goddess?”


    “You heard me. What’s it say about a Goddess who can’t even get consent from her boyfriend?”

    “That’d… hm. That’d actually make me seem pretty repulsive, at least personality-wise. But that’s not true at all!”


    “Well I… I can get consent from you! Look, it says so right here on my list: ‘get consent’, and the box for ‘can do’ is checked. What further proof do you need?”

    “How about you get my consent, then?”

    “Alright then. Give consent, please.”


Sophie throws her hands in the air and turns her back on Dan.

    “Fine! Let’s not have sex then! That’ll be a change of pace.”

    “It’s good that you understand. Now can we please have sex already? I’ve been rearing to go for a while now.”



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