All the Time in the World

No matter how many times it has happened, or at the very least potentially happened, I still get caught completely off guard whenever I suddenly find myself standing in the doorway to my bedroom with no recollection of how I got there. The last thing I remember was packing up my laptop after my day at the office. I looked at the bedside clock, the display reading 10:00 PM.

She couldn’t have just waited five hours?

My wife, of course, was already laying across the bed as she always did when these sorts of things happened.

“Tess, did you really have to do this now?”

Her half-closed eyelids fluttered open, an endless realm of hyperdimensional space visible behind them. She opened her mouth as a booming, echoing voice emanated from seemingly everywhere around me.


I had to look away from her eyes, the incomprehensibility of the fourth dimension tends to hurt my stomach. 

“Babe, that was funny maybe the first couple times you did that, it’s starting to get a little irritating.”

With a normal human giggle, the eldritch abysses in her eyes faded away as they were replaced by the whites and sparkly green I had fallen in love with when we first met. With that out of the way, she finally looked like a normal human again.

Perhaps I should explain.

One day while I was at work, Tess had tripped and fell into a wall. Literally. By some infinitesimally small chance, every single atom in her body happened to avoid collision with every single atom in the brickwork and the two phased together. With nowhere for the two objects to properly exist, they were shoved off into the dimension perpendicular to the 3d world which we call Time. The brick wall, of course, is still just floating out there. Tess, however, got the hang of controlling her new existence fairly quickly (at least to my mere human perspective) and soon enough got the hang of reintegrating a 3d portion of herself back into the world she had come to know and love. From then on, things went back to normal- until she feels like showing off, like she does now.

She spoke to me slowly and enticingly, as if she had all the time in the world… which she did of course.  

“Hey, I can’t help it if I get a little bored all by my lonesome. I’ll be sure to put you right back right into whatever riveting activity you were doing beforehand when I’m done.”

I hoped she was joking; as much of a jarring experience being plucked five hours into the future was, it was a nice way of skipping the commute home. 

Tess took off her nightie and shoved it away, the silky dress vanishing from my perception as she pushed it into the extradimensional void for safekeeping. I happily followed suit, unbuttoning my shirt before fully stripping and cuddling up against her.  

Like usual, Tess made the first move as I watched in dopey appreciation. Her entire body seemed to slide backwards as she kept her head gently locked in place, staring lovingly into my eyes. I recognize far too late what’s about to happen.

Oh dear, she’s actually going to do it.

A blur passes over my field of vision, and within an instant, Tess’ position has changed. Tess, the bed, and I are all surrounded by a spherical bubble of Tess’ body, her chest, arms, and head emerging inwards from one end and her legs and hips emerging from the opposite pole. 

Now, I said bubble just then for clarity, but that is actually an unfair description of what is truly going on. Tess’ body hadn’t changed, or stretched, or done anything terribly special at all. She had simply rotated herself on the 4th dimensional axis, changing the way she interacted with 3rd dimensional space. To Tess, she was merely moving around to look at me from another side, the only issue being that this “side” existed in a form my senses couldn’t detect. (See note #1)

The downside to this cozy position she had put us in is that by inverting her form in this plane, she had consumed the entire universe beyond our small, isolated sphere. Her infinite three-dimensional volume (please don’t tell her I said that), all too content to be contained inwards, was now unbounded in our world and extended unendingly in all directions. Needless to say, she probably won’t keep us in this timeline when we are done, and I’ll likely still have to drive home from work when this is all over. 

Putting aside my thoughts of mild frustration and universal destruction, I cuddled up closer to Tess’ protruding torso. For a brief moment, we just hugged, enjoying the warmth of each other’s company. Tess particularly enjoyed it, and decided to dwell in that moment for a few hours extra  before letting herself catch up to me. For all of her power and bravado, not to mention a long list of destroyed timelines and realities under her belt, she really is a wonderfully sweet and loving person to be around.  

“Hey, I know you prefer me to let you experience time linearly, but I think you’ll be really excited to see this thing I figured out how to do.”

My ears perk up. Its been a while (I think, hard to tell with her) since she discovered her last new trick, in which she dragged an additional me in from an just a few minutes prior to perform a threesome. My nose had bled profusely and I tasted copper for an hour afterwards due to some mild paradoxes, but the experience of already feeling the aftereffects of the orgasm I was about to have was well worth it.

My reminiscing is interrupted by a tap on my shoulder. I reflexively turn my head, looking for the source. Seeing nothing, I take a breath to start questioning Tess before I suddenly feel the same sensation on the opposite side. I whip my head around, and am able to catch the slight glimpse of a dainty hand slipping away into nothing. Tess giggles as I turn to look at her. 

She’s hiding her hands behind her back, but slowly raises her left arm to reveal her entire forearm, which now tapers down along its length, coming to a point at the wrist. Suddenly, her left hand folds itself out of the space before me, also tapering at the wrist as it hangs suspended before my face. The hand reaches out and gives my nose a gentle poke. (See Note #2)

As I sit there in stunned appreciation, her upper half, which still protruded from the inside of the sphere, began to fold inwards, leaving behind a smooth surface where it once was. Tess’ giggles echoed around me as I just lay in relative solitude, a single hand and a pair of legs as my only companions. 

Soon enough though, the tapering point of her suspended left hand expands outwards as Tess’ smiling upper half pokes itself back into our dimension, now hovering where the hand was, just above my lap. 

“You impressed?”

“Do you even need to ask?”

“Well… I do have one more thing to add…”

There was a brief motion over where her lower half was as I suddenly felt a warm envelopment between my legs. 

She gave a devilish grin. 

“There- now I’m ready.”


It was only a matter of time after we finished that I found myself back in the office, clothes on and still holding my laptop. The hands on the cubicle clock showed 5:00. Not a second had actually passed and the universe was safe once again.

I finished packing up and headed to my car, already eager for what I now knew awaited me five hours from now. 


(Note #1: Lay your hand flat on a sheet of paper. Your 3d hand intersects the nearly-2d space as a handprint. Lay a fist on a sheet of paper. Your hand now intersects as a lumpy circle. You haven’t changed your form at all, yet a viewer from 2d space would see your hand as two wildly different shapes. The same goes for Tess, just one dimension higher.) 

(Note #2: Take out that sheet of paper and poke it with two separate fingers. Congratulations, the 2 dimensional observer now fears your ability to teleport and duplicate in addition to your shapeshifting.)


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