“-and here is your order, sorry about the wait!”
“Ah, no problem, I’m not in any rush!”
“Need any more coffee?”
“Nope, I’m all good for now!”
“Alright then, enjoy your meal- call me if you need anything, dear.”
The waitress sets down a pretty white plate loaded with food in front of me, stacked high with french toast and surrounded by a generous helping of fruit and bacon. Taking one last sip of my coffee, I wedge a corner off a slice of toast and take a first bite.
The flawless collection of five-star reviews this small-town diner has earned online hasn’t led me astray it seems… however I can hardly say I’m surprised, given that it was my doing that it ended up the way it is now. I am currently the only one left who remembers a time that this was just some crappy little chain place, hardly worth mentioning or remembering, but that time simply doesn’t exist anymore. Rather, where I’m sitting now has ALWAYS been a local legend, an underrated gem owned by a passionate family of cooks that has ALWAYS been a highlight of any road trip for travelers passing through since it opened about thirty years ago. And, just before you ask, don’t worry, I did my homework. I checked through all the butterfly-ripple effects of every person whose lives were even in the SLIGHTEST way effected by my retroactive improvement of this diner throughout its lifespan, and every single one of them was a net positive. Good food will do that to people, and having a thriving business out in the middle of nowhere is always a boon to the locals.
It’s the little things like that that make me proud to be God.
Outside, a pickup truck pulls into the lot. Nothing all that interesting, so I turn back to my food, but the jingling of the bells on the door does momentarily bring my attention up to the person entering the diner, and…oh dear…
That…that guy is…is…dammit. He totally reminds me of a guy I had a crush on in high school, back when I was, well, human.
I wonder if it really is him; I haven’t seen him in like, nearly a decade, and even though I myself haven’t aged a second for the past few years, I think he looks like he could be about the right age to have everything still line up. I really shouldn’t do this, but…my curiosity needs to be sated. I crack open the infinite vault of all the information that exists, existed, and can exist that I keep willingly sealed in my mind a hairline fraction of an inch, and let a detailed biography of the man’s life flash before my eyes.
Hmm, let’s see…his name is…okay, not the guy I’m thinking of. No need to peek any further.
…I SAID, no need to--
More information starts to pour in. Age: 26. Height: 6’1”. Max Bench: 352 lbs. Occupation: Sportswear Model. Dick Size:…holy shit. Relationship Status: Single…and looking.
This isn’t going to end well.
I look to my left. There’s a table open- of COURSE there fucking is. I mean, I could easily go and make it so that it has been filled the whole time, but using my powers consciously right now would be a BAD idea, believe me.
Sure enough, he’s seated by the waitress just a few feet away from me, EASILY close enough for a conversation to take place should we feel inclined. I can start feel my current form changing. My breasts pop out just a little larger, but stick out WAY perkier, my hips flare wider, and my hair turns a silky, seductive black and flows down to the top of my waist as I systematically go down this guy’s ‘list’, ticking off each of his personal preferences and fetishes as I become his ideal woman, because deep down, I know I want this. I know I want to have this man become absolutely INFATUATED with me, awestruck by my beauty in a way no mortal could have ever thought POSSIBLE as he falls to his knees, begging for his goddess’ affection…
…and then I would give it to him. Oh GOD I would give it to him. I would take us to a level of pleasure nigh-unthinkable to any human, strung out for eternity in a non-stop climax of…
Fuck, I need to get out of here. I really wish I could have finished my breakfast in peace, but it seems like today won’t be the day for that. I’ll have to come back later, after I let myself…calm down, so to say. One last sip of coffee, and then I’m out; no teleporting, no turning into a beam of light and zipping into the heavens- I’ll just calmly walk out the front door, and go on about my day. It’ll be fine.
But as I try to raise my mug to my increasingly perfect lips, there is a sound of shattering. Slowly, I look down to see a blob of porcelain oozing between my fingers, while the rest of the cup lays shattered on the table, fallen off of the molten handle that is now dripping from my hand. A quick thermal glance at my own skin shows my temperature to be in the high twenty-thousands, with only an instinctively-created force field wrapped tightly around myself keeping this entire building from being instantly vaporized by my own repressed-lust-induced body heat.
“Hey, need some help cleaning that up?”
Turning to see Dream Dude right next to me, I know it’s too late. Bad things are about to happen, and the least I can do is have them not happen here. In a millionth of the time it takes him to blink, I am gone, transported nigh-instantly to a far-off pocket of the universe billions of lightyears away to an unfamiliar solar system that I thankfully find to be uninhabited. My clothes burn away, and I am left nakedly adrift in empty space, facing out towards the endless expanse of all creation.
I can only hope it’s enough to satisfy me.
Skin buzzing with infinite, irresistible power, I slowly peel the force field back from my body, and the rest just spirals outwards from there. Instantly, the pent up energy peaks as it is set loose, creating more and more heat that builds faster and faster endlessly. In a single second I’ve jumped from twenty thousand to well over twenty million degrees, burning as hot as the very core of Earth’s sun, yet merely leaving me with the same clean tingle one does stepping out of a hot shower. Asteroids for miles around are vaporised, and as the expanding zone of increasingly beyond-nuclear heat swells larger and larger, it begins to light upon the surfaces of distant worlds. Deserts are blasted into glass, oceans evaporate, the massive shift in temperatures cause moon-sized superstorms to swirl across the surface of gaseous giants.
I can see all of it in perfect clarity- every last molecule scorched by my hellishly hot aura as it billows off of me. The destructive wave emitted from my still body ravages entire planets, but I know that things will only get worse. I can do anything. Anything, that is, except hold back when I get myself worked up- and seeing the surrounding cosmos crumble beneath a mere passive output of my power only began to make that feeling stronger. Hands quaking with anticipation, I raise two fingers to my chest, and begin to squeeze at one of my nipples.
The fingers touch, and everything goes dark.
That manages catches me off guard for a second, but it isn’t hard for me to realize what had happened. Without having been able to put much thought into restraining myself, my ever-growing strength had far outpaced my own invulnerability, and the cataclysmic impact of my fingers colliding with the tip of my chest was enough to decimate much of the top half of my physical form. Fortunately, it has been a long time since my body has been comprised of anything resembling human flesh. Instead, smooth, putty-like chunks of me are now splattered across what few chunks of space rock have survived my initial outbursts, goopily twitching in sensation-filled bliss.
Being utterly blown apart does little to slow me down, however. From the stump above my disembodied waist and legs left floating behind, slick tendrils emerge and twist together, ballooning and molding into an entirely new upper body, good as new. Unable to rein in my strength in the state I’m in, I instead just make sure I’m even more unstoppably durable than before to prevent myself from having any further…hindrances. Taking my newly-regenerated right hand, I experimentally flick the side of my right tit. The resulting shockwave reduces any solid object remaining in the galaxy to my left to powder. I, meanwhile, am unscratched.
Excellent. Now where was I…
I return to what I was doing before, one hand running up my own chest as I feel myself start to edge towards the orgasmic release my existence so desperately craves, before creating an massive, absolutely indestructible dildo, one even I couldn’t break, that I ram into myself. Instantly my other hand’s fingers curl and clench in pleasure, while light-years away, invisible, million-mile long telekinetic replicas of those same fingers squeeze at a supermassive red giant, extinguishing it beneath an unseen palm, and crushing it into a brand-new singularity. My toes do the same, and at an equally distant point in the universe, two sets of five craters each are pounded into a stony planet before scratching deep scars across its surface.
Far closer, the malleable bits of my body begin to rise, multiplying their mass over and over again as each reforms into a new copy of me, anatomy cartoonishly distorting as they stretch and twist to my current location and begin smothering me with their soft, pliant bodies. One wriggly limb finds its way over to my sex, plucks out the dildo, and breaks it before plunging its extendible length endlessly deep into me, rapidly filling me with miles upon miles of rubbery skin without bulging my perfect figure a single inch.
It doesn’t take much longer for me to start coming to orgasm.
The heat bubble surrounding me stops expanding, but instead jumps to twice the planck temperature- all matter in that solar-system-spanning zone save for my prime body isn’t so much vaporized as it is removed from existence, broken down at a conceptual level until pure nothingness remains. A moan then eclipses that zone, creating a spherical wave of incalculable physical force that extends the radius of destruction fifty times over, shattering all in its wake.
Only then do I start to truly climax.
Reality itself starts to fall apart in the surrounding vicinity, the real-world ten seconds of peak orgasm simultaneously taking aeons to go through yet also finishing instantaneously as I am pleasured every way I conceivably COULD be pleasured, with every sexual possibility I MIGHT have experienced at that point folding in upon a single moment in time within my body. It is there in that moment, if even for a picosecond, that I lose control, and the corruptive power of my absolute omnipotence is loosed upon the universe, fundamentally changing the nature of the surrounding space around me to suit a set of whims that were no longer my own.
By the time I wrench control back into my own hands and teleport myself far away yet again, I can already tell the damage has been done. Where there was once a great void created by the horrifyingly destructive power of my masturbation, there is now a veritable tumor of sexual corruption, a galaxy-sized planetoid of writhing sexual organs and tentacles, occupied solely by an impossibly beautiful race of unholy degenerate demigods in every possible shape and size locked in a orgy that had already begun and would never, ever, end.
THAT is the reality the power I now possess desires.
It had started small after my seemingly random ascension to omnipotence- a lone, slimy tendril sprouting from my bed, a lusty clone that followed me wherever I went until I teleported her to the center of the Earth’s core, but then it began to grow larger. After I had to quarantine an entire corrupted forest by levitating the land mass it was located on far out of Earth’s orbit, I realized I would have to start…’relieving myself’, farther and farther away from the world I cared about as moons, planets, stars and now GALAXIES were overtaken by my increasingly insatiable lust.
What makes the situation truly horrible, however, is that there is nothing I can do about it- attempting to use my powers to undo or destroy these abominable sexual singularities only results in me getting more worked up than I started due to merely acknowledging their nigh-infinite erotic appeal. I’ve even tried other ways of stopping the spread as well; deep meditation, self induced amnesia about my powers, going so far as to travel through time to paradoxically prevent myself from ever being born- but nothing ever worked. My desires are too powerful to ever be put down for good, leaving me with little choice but to make sure that I am constantly vigilant in limiting myself from getting overly aroused as much as possible, which, as you can see, is quite the task- a task that I’m sure will only end in futility given my immortal lifespan.
Worst part of it is that I’ll probably ENJOY it when it happens- everyone will. When I finally fully succumb, EVERYONE will be living a life of eternal bliss, the entire universe united as one in absolute shared ecstasy. But I suppose that’s something I’ll have to worry myself with later.
For now, I guess I’ll have to simply focus on being the best God I can be, improving the world from the background, and enjoying whatever benefits come with it.