Hi! You don’t know me, but we’ve met before. Countless times, actually. I call myself Omni, but in a few minutes my name will be Amanda, a cute little blonde from down the hall.
Oh, don’t bother calling campus security. Your phone has turned into a banana. No, it’s real! Eat it. See? Pretty good, right?
I’m in your room to tell you what’s about to happen. I just love to watch your expression while I tell you about the true nature of reality. It just never gets old! Sit down. Yes, there on your bed, if you please. There you go.