Quantum Goddess

Welcome home, honey!

Yes, I’m really excited! You know how I’ve been working on the problem of quantum-phenomic bridging? Well, I’ve had a major breakthrough! As of this moment, you’re speaking with the only woman on Earth who can manipulate quantum phenomenon with merely her mind!

Oh, it’s a really big deal. I’d explain, but I know the math involved would go right over your head. No, no, it’d go over anyone’s head, it’s very complicated.

No, I haven’t tested it out yet. Let’s start with something small – here, in the kitchen.

Hedonism

The following story is extremely weird. It involves a woman becoming wildly, absurdly, grotesquely fat via the application of her own omnipotence. Proceed with caution.

Molly would have happily described herself as a hedonist if she knew the meaning of the word. Her mom and dad described their unemployed twenty-year-old daughter as “a big eater” and “a good heart”. Friends of the family often ended sentences about her with “bless her heart”.

Interview with God

 

Hi! You don’t know me, but we’ve met before. Countless times, actually. I call myself Omni, but in a few minutes my name will be Amanda, a cute little blonde from down the hall.

Oh, don’t bother calling campus security. Your phone has turned into a banana. No, it’s real! Eat it. See? Pretty good, right?

I’m in your room to tell you what’s about to happen. I just love to watch your expression while I tell you about the true nature of reality. It just never gets old! Sit down. Yes, there on your bed, if you please. There you go.